Identity

There are many instances in which I feel both an insider and an outsider simulataneously. The term African-American itself is a defintive term that basically describes the aforementioned feeling. As a UCLA student I am a part of a large population of individuals that have been inducted into the so called "bruin faimly." All of us bruins no everything about student life, academics, campus life, student organizations, etc at UCLA. We are all experts on UCLA. In that way, I am very much an insider. However, upon closer inspection I belong to a ethnic group on campus that is underrepresented not only throughout the country but specifically at UCLA. With the current enrollment of less than 3% African- Americans at UCLA, I cannot help but feel like an outsider as well. There are multiple ways that I identify with others at UCLA. One way of identifying is my major, another is my minor, as well as all of my interests from dance to singing. So while I am an insider in the various interests and common career goals that I share with others, I still feel very much like an outsider due to race. It is a good thing that race is not the only way to identify with others.

Various contexts mandate that I accentuate or exemplify different parts of my identity. This is similar to anyone who has ever gone on a job interview and must present themselves in a certain way to "identify" with a particular company. I am involved in many different organzations that spotlight various parts of my identity. I am very spiritual and consequently am an avid church member. Spirituality is on portion of my identity and when I am in church especially I feel very comfortable in participating in worship services and other activities that underscore my faith. Outside of church I have various personal rituals that I do, but perhaps they are not apparent to the public eye because I am not in the company of others that may share that same spiritual identity. Or perhaps those practices are apparent but seem weird or peculiar to others who do not identify in the same way. Another context is south campus in general. Another portion of my identity is my academic identity. I am a biology major and and a pre-medical student. In this way, I am able to communicate with other science majors on campus in a way that perhaps I cannot with other majors. Because of our common understanding of sciences, and allied health career goals, my interest in science is accentuated while I am on the southern portion of campus. This identity again becmoes more apparent when other science majors are around. Yet, another illustration of the different parts of my identity being displayed are cultural. As an African- American there are a plethora of traditions, customs, and beliefs that I share with other African-Americans in general. Food, clothing, language, interests, and even family life are all examples of ways that I identify with other African- Americans. Again, this identity always exists but can be accentuated at cultural events or shows, certain neighborhoods or various organizations that have a particular African- American interest.

In all of the previous ways various portions of my identity are illustrated across a wide variety of both overlapping and non-overlapping contexts. I believe that everyone experiences both the outsider and insider role. I believe it is human nature that makes us distinguish ourselves from others. There are times however, that we empower ourselves through uniting in common interests, while excluding others. We have to struggle to find a balance, where we can articulate commonality while celebrating our differences.